Let me just say, right now, that I have never watched Criminal Minds. It sounds like a kind of show I'd like, (psychology! woo!) though this experience will probably ruin the show entirely for me.
I've decided to watch the episode where Wil Wheaton plays a completely psychotic serial killer.... you know I think he's awesome and I KNOW he is such a sweet guy but even the idea of seeing him be totally evil is just DESTROYING ME!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!
The way I explained it to Cory was that it must've been what Fry felt like when he learned that Santa was an evil robot in the year 3000...
But I HAVE to watch it!! He wrote about the experience extensively and put it in a book I have yet to buy from him, Sunken Treasures (WHY DIDN'T I BUY IT FROM HIM AT PHOENIX COMICON RARGH!!!), and I want to get that book and read it! I don't want to read it if I haven't seen the episode!
So, here I am, watching the episode....
And the thing is, the episode is half over, and all I've seen so far is his fricken EYEBALL!! And what he's doing to the poor couple that's trapped in his motel.
....except they just revealed him.
He walks on camera, acting like a bumbling motel manager, and my first reaction?
"AUGH!!! IT'S HIM!! IT'S HIM!! IT'S THE KILLER! KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!!!" *snatches up wireless magic imac mouse and chucks it at his evil face!*
Calm down, Megan, calm down... it... it's gonna be okay... you're watching this to witness how great of an actor he is... it's... it's gonna be fine...
I'm not going to sleep tonight....
...I think now that I've seen him... I'm okay. B-but... he was so calm, a-and joking... then he was all like BITCH-STARE!-GTFO to that guy and... joked... but then... *swallows* He's in the room with them, and those underwears AREN'T HERS!!!
AUGH! WHY DID I THINK I COULD WATCH THIS?!?! *slaps hands to face*
Commercial break. (Which on Megavideo is two seconds long).
I've been watching with my hands over my face, but with my eyes wide open, just like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone -- and yes, I did have to cover my eyes completely a couple times, NO EASY TASK WITH GLASSES ON, WIL!
omg he's terrifying. Wil, Wil, thank GOD you aren't really like this and thank GOD I didn't watch this before Phoenix Comicon or I would have been SCARED SHITLESS TO MEET YOU!
...they know it's him... will they be able to save them? If I wasn't so scared, I'd be biting my fingernails now.... yeah, that's how scared I am. *puts hands back on face and resumes episode*
....there's Wil again....
....and I'm laughing.... HOLY SHIT I AM LAUGHING AND I AM CRYING AT THE SAME TIME!!! WHY AM I CRYING?! Wait... WHY AM I LAUGHING??!?!
He's... he's like the Joker, without the laugh!!
....I can live with this, I think.
I do ever so love the Joker.... ^_^ Mark Hamill's Joker in particular....
MEGAVIDEO, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! THAT HAS *NOT* BEEN 72 MINUTES!!!!! THERE'S ONLY 6 MINUTES LEFT ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!?!?! THEY'RE JUST ABOUT TO BUST HIM AND YOU FUCKING JUST END IT THERE?!?!?!? HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA SURVIVE 56 MORE MINUTES?!?!?!
Oh THANK YOU JESUS!!!
I REFRESHED AND IT WORKS THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
....so they busted him, thank god, and he went running, and then.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL AY-RON-EEEEE!!!
(um... that would be irony, just btw)
....and the episode is over. And I gotta say, I'm pretty glad I watched it. Was it terrifying? Yes. Will I ever watch it again? HELL NO! ...well... probably not anyways.... But man... it was like Wil Wheaton and the Joker made a baby and it was PERFECT! XD I am incredibly proud of him... but he should never play a character like that again. Stick to the mischievously misguided asshole part if you gotta play that side of the spectrum. Don't go all the way to the dark side. THEY DON'T HAVE COOKIES THERE! THE COOKIES ARE A LIE!!
And that is the end of my Watching Criminal Minds With Wil Wheaton Fan Commentary.
...you will bet I'll be doing a similar commentary when or if I ever actually get around to watching Next Generation... cuz I'm sorry, but from the impression I get of the whole Wesley Crusher dynamic, I think I'd prefer the psychotic maniac.... and that almost rhymed. ...oh who am I kidding, no it didn't...
I feel oddly at peace now... the adrenaline is ebbing and I just kinda feel numb and blank-minded. Is this what happens to people after scary movies or something? I guess I could understand the allure of scary movies if this is what happens to you, but dude... I really don't think I should watch scary movies. I mean, HOCUS POCUS scared the shit out of me.... if I want an adrenaline rush, I think I'll stick to roller coasters...
Alrighty, then. Now that that's done, I can legally and awesomely obtain the production notes in audio format that is conveniently available at http://stores.lulu.com/wilwheaton along with many of the other things he has done. :)