Friday, July 25, 2008

Growing Up

So, I did this huge crusade to create the perfect blog, so I could write this particular blog post.

It's occurred to me that I've changed... or, that I'm growing up. I'm not the same girl I was back in high school, where so much of my time and energy was expended on fantasy worlds, internet worlds, etc. I spent hours writing fanfics or drawing fanart, or daydreaming fandreams, and I spent so much time in blogs creating layouts for them, writing silly entries, doing countless quizilla quizzes and posting the results, doing my harry potter club and nerdiness, etc.

That was who I was. Senior year, it all kinda changed as all my energies poured into a doomed-to-fail relationship, and school. (gag on both). It sorta all completely overturned my life. By the time I got to college, I really had no clue who I was anymore. I wasn't obsessed about things like I always had been. I couldn't be funny like I used to, or grip thoughts like I once could, or any of that. I didn't know who I was, so it's no surprise I didn't make good friends easily - I'm sure none of them really knew who I was either... probably just a bitch who complained alot and hated herself...

I've noticed alot more changes lately. I can't stand the music I used to love. I'm so sick of it. It's probably just being overexposed to it, you know? So I'm trying to find new stuff. Thank GOD for the internet. I'm sick of all the movies I used to watch over and over and over again - again, most likely overexposure. So I started up Netflix. Furthermore, I've grown sick of the clothes that I used to always wear. I can't wear t-shirts AT ALL anymore - can't stand em. (if it's a really light fabric, I can deal, and if it's a girl-style t-shirt, I'm good). I've also gotten sick of jeans. I've been watching What Not To Wear, and if it wasn't for the fact I've only got maybe 200 bucks in the bank right now, I'd totally go on a shopping spree, because I want new clothes. A new wardrobe would rock. And speaking of tv shows, I'm sick of the tv I used to watch. I suppose you could only call that growing up, because for a good 15 years of my life, Nickelodeon was my channel of choice. But now I can't even stand watching Spongebob (although I can still watch Fairly OddParents from time to time...). So I rarely watch any tv now. Just TLC, for the most part. Jon and Kate plus 8 (which I've already seen every episode of), and random other educational shows. I think I need to get into more adult shows, like House! I love House. I need to watch it more. Maybe I should try Scrubs too....

So, yeah. I'm changing. I'm growing up. And I thought that as I got sick of all these things that made up who I thought I was, I'd get even more depressed, but actually, lately, I've been feeling pretty good about myself. The other night, I spent a good couple hours watching youtube videos on hairstyles and make-up and stuff, and now I'm so excited about having long hair. I've been wearing camisoles like they're bulletproof material during a war, and I've been drooling over clothes and jewelery. I've also dropped a couple pounds, which makes me feel great, even if I still weigh more than I did at the end of high school.

Just in all, I want to be a better me. And I hope I'm on my way to it...


Cory Wiegersma said...


I think I've found my blog-commenting style. ;)

Anyway, I hope you don't think it's bad that you're growing up and out of some of the things you used to love so hardcore. And if you leave things like spongebob and whatever alone for a bit, you'll be able to come back to it in a few years, reminisce a little bit, and think about how funny it was "back then."

... and apparently that's how old people deal with life.

Megan said...

Like this old lady I met at the grocery store today! "Tapioca Pudding! Have you ever had tapioca pudding? Oh, my dear, you have not LIVED! I was one of 7 brothers and sisters, and there was NO TAPIOCA PUDDING LEFTOVER when we had it... we just gobbled it right up. Ah, good times."

Yeah.... hopefully not like that :P Although, I've already gotten into "Oh man, Donald... Ball pits... Ball pits were SO AMAZING! Ah, good times...."